The love of my life!
TUNKU IDA ARLIZA @ DEKDA
We met by chance through the mIRC. It was school holiday of the year 1999. Her nick was uNCoMe| (Yes, I remember! 
) and she thought I was a good friend of hers, Shazana Fairuz, whom the nick bandicoot (Not so sure with the spelling) belongs to. I was using Kr4sH_BanDiCooT as my nick and I guess it’s clear how the confusion occurred. We kept in touch though and had been friends since.
The year 2000, I broke up with my ex, Nurzawani Mukhtarah, and she was there for me to listen to my plight and put a smile on my face. From that very moment, despite never knowing how she looks like (she told me she’s ugly!), I fell in love. There’s just something about her that makes me happy. She says the right thing at the right time. Be manja at the right moment and at the right dose (Yes, manja can be annoying sometimes).
We tried to meet up to no avail. I did everything I could. Cut short my school holiday (and had a fight with my parents about it and they left me to settle the matter which includes Q-ing up at the MAS office for 4 hours). Everytime we tried to meet up, something always came up. 2002, sometime in February if I am not mistaken, we finally met. The TKCians were having their batch gathering in KLCC during that time. Of course, as usual, something came up. Despite that, the first meeting was beautiful. She was so cute (What? Ugly?) with her blue-ish appearance. The hat. Mama cakap macam orang Jepun. Those are the words I can recall during our cut short meeting. Hehs! Had a mixed feeling though. Her cuteness is a blow to my confidence. Despite that, something tells me to hold on. We never know right? 
By then I know she likes someone from STAR. She talked a lot about him. His chubby cheeks. How he cried at Seremban Parade during Val’s Day as she rejected him. Well, the TKCians kinda have a thing on not having a BF before SPM though I can’t recall what they call it. During one of the holidays, she asked me to spy on him since STARians and STFians (betul ke ejaan ni?) were having their gathering in Sunway Pyramid. Some of my friends asked me to make up stories but I refused as I believe being truthful and honest is the best way to prove my love for her. CHAK! Yes! He was kinda cute. Tall. I could see from afar the girls were trying to get his attention but he was rather cold. From that moment, I knew, he was a better choice than me. Academically. Sports. Everything. I told her about what I saw and I can feel that she was excited and happy though she tried to hide it by the common “EE.. Geramnye. Tipu a.“.
Cut! It was post-SPM. They got together. I was happy for her since she was with a good guy (I thought he was) despite having my heart broken into pieces. Tried to avoid her and after sometime, when I was in Labuan Matriculation College, 17th September 2003, I gave her a call. I was confident I have moved on and as a dear brother of hers, I should wish her Happy Birthday. Oh shit I was wrong. The moment I heard her voice saying “Hello! Sape ni?”, all the feelings I thought had gone, it all came back to me and worse, it felt so much better and stronger than ever. After that call, I went straight to my room and wondered what just happened and never really solved the puzzle.
Things got kinda on and off since then until some time during my 2nd year 1st sem, when I heard she broke up with that guy. I won’t go into the details though but I do pity her and got mad with him. Despite that, being human, I was kinda happy too since she was single. We met up in Shah Alam accompanied by a friend of mine, Noor Azran @ Joeybonk and had pizza. That very time was great. Awesome. No. I don’t think there are any words that can describe it. I kept the Komuter tix I purchased to meet her. I was happy. Smiled a whole lot and due to that, Zain made fun of me and called me a lovesick dog. Haha!
Sometime later, she told me that her class was going to Kuching and needed some recommendations and help, in particular, a place to have BBQ and the food preparation. As always, I gladly did. I went back to Kuching for mid-term break and discussed with my friends and family about it (well, I’ve been away from Kuching since I was 13 so I don’t know much either. ;p). The first plan was to have the BBQ at the beach but the idea was brushed off since it was raining back then. At the end of the day, we decided to have the BBQ at my place. It came with a price though as I have to skip my mid term test and have to go back to Kuching after barely a week in KL since the event took place 2 weeks after our mid-term break. Since I still have my scholarship (Thank you Malaysian taxpayers!), I used it to pay for my tix. Regarding the test, well, I simply ignored it since it was just 10 marks after all. ;p
At the time when the trip was held, Usher & Alicia Keys – My Boo was like the ‘IT’ song. :p She loved it so much that she kept singing it over and over again, and changed the “My Oh, My Oh, My Oh” to my nickname “Ma’oi, Ma’oi, Ma’oi”. How I wish that was true. Me being her boo. Unfortunately, that was just for fun. One very fine afternoon she used my computer and I found out something fishy is going on. It was like she had found someone new. My instinct was right. Few weeks later, I got to know she’s with a guy known as Mayon, a senior of hers in UiTM. I was brokenhearted yet again, but I can only feel happy for her. Her friend, Kak Chik, told me that he was always there for her. They met each other everyday. That’s a huge advantage. Despite being told so, I do believe that even if I can afford to do so, I can never be good enough for her. I gave my all, but sometimes, even that is not enough and of course it shows just how ordinary I am as a person. She once mentioned that I seem to hide who I really am a little too much, or in other words, very reserved. To be honest, I am not. It’s just that my days were, are, will be just the same with nothing to shout about. That’s why I always answer “Nothing much” for a “What’s up?” question.
Since then, I kept looking for someone new, trying my best to move on. I managed to date a few girls. One in particular to a great extend, but nothing seems to work out. The worst thing is that for each failure, my feelings for her become stronger than before with each of them reminding me just how special she is as a person. I know people do wonder why is it I can forget other girls easily but not her.
This is my answer. She is my dream girl. As a PERSON, I see no one as beautiful as her. Judging by her looks, of course she has not the most beautiful face or body. The girls I dated looked so much better. But NONE of them managed to do what she does best, which is, she made everything around me (or even you) seems beautiful. I used to think these are only words, that it’s impossible for any person to feel so. But ever since I met her, I can assure you these words are for real. I don’t know how she does it, but yes, that’s the thing about her that struck me the most. She possessed so much positive vibes that it clears out all negativity around you. And that is what makes her so beautiful in my heart, the most beautiful to be exact. The best thing (or maybe you can also call it the worst) about it is that, this beauty of hers lasts forever. A beautiful face/body will age someday, but not this. Nothing can take this away from her (except Allah SWT of course) and that is why, for all these years, I still love her the most.
*THE END*
Dear Dekda,
I managed to finish this post on your 24th birthday. Sorry for the delay. Hehe! I hope you won’t feel offended by the gift from me and I hope you like it. In case you wonder why, about 2 days after we met I came upon a video on YouTube, which was a lecture on Islam & the international monetary system and it scares me to death. :p As I care about you, that is the least I can do. Keep in mind I’m not pushing you to wear it. Maybe the most suitable word is I’m just trying to promote it. :p I am no angel to push you to wear it anyway. 
As for the colour, I chose black as it can be matched easily if on any day you chose to wear it, and orange as I thought it helps in making you happy. I honestly don’t know what your favourite colour is, but I do remember on the 1st Aidilfitri after you broke up with Najib, you kept saying you are so wearing an orange kebaya like it’s gonna help you move on or cheer you up. And since it seems like something is bothering you (which I’d love to know what it is if you don’t mind sharing), I thought maybe something orange could help. If I get it wrong, I’m sorry. Lastly, have a blast on your birthday! I hope you like the kek lapis and the gift! =)
Love,
MAO~
