Everyday its-a getting closer
Going faster than a rollercoaster
A love like yours will surely come my way
a-hey a-hey hey

Everyday its-a getting faster
Everyone said go ahead and ask her
A love like yours will surely come my way
a-hey a-hey hey

Everyday seems a little longer
Every way loves a little stronger
Come what may
Do ya ever long for true love from me

Yeah a love like yours will surely come my way
a-hey a-hey hey

Everyday seems a little longer
Every way loves a little stronger
Come what may
Do ya ever long for true love from me

Yeah everyday its-a getting closer
Going faster than a rollercoaster
A love like yours will surely come my way
a-hey a-hey hey

Love like yours will surely come my way

sometimes the door we open belong to someone else,

sometimes we let someone in only to be left out in the cold,

and sometimes despite what we may want the door just has too many locks.

since i’ve been gone for quite awhile (dah bersawang kate encik yam), latest update from me is i’ve finally moved on. before you get excited about it, i most probably will have to move on again. hahahahaha! well, at the very least  i know by now everyone is replaceable right? let’s just hope this time it won’t take 9 freaking years cos like it or not i’m 25 now. come to think of it, i think i can only afford marriage at the age of 35. so yes, still a long way to go. ;p

Most girls, wish that they had your eyes
And boys secretly fantasize
But me I am just mesmerized
By your every word and movement

You are as close as a girl can be
To ideal somehow you disagree
The whole world sees perfection but all you see
Is room for more improvement

Silly girl, pretty girl
Do you not see
What a spell your sweet love has cast on me
And girl, I pray that never will this trance be broken

I melt, in your mouth when you talk to me
I wanna kiss you so slow, so sweet
You are, the book that i want to read
In braille cover to cover

You’re so deep inside
You’re my DNA
You’re how tall i am
You’re how much i weigh
You’re the reason someone had to pen the phrase:
“To know her is to love her”

Silly girl pretty girl
Do you not see
What a spell your sweet love has cast on me
And Girl, i pray that never will this trance be broken

Everything you do is like a movie scene
Every pose you strike is from some magazine
And i want to turn your pages

Silly girl pretty girl
Do you not see
What a spell your sweet love has cast on me

Silly girl pretty girl
Do you not see
What a spell your sweet love has cast on me
And girl, i pray that never will this trance be broken

No no, no no

Silly girl pretty girl
Do you not see
What a spell your sweet love has cast on me
And girl, I pray that never will this trance be broken

love this song very much. (^___^) unfortunately, i have no one i can dedicate it to. (T___T)

1 tahun dari sekarang, beberapa rakan (dan insyaAllah kakak aku) yang sering berhubung melalui laman ‘facebook’ atau yahoo messenger akan mendirikan rumah tangga dan mempunyai komitmen kepada keluarga.

Beberapa tahun dari sekarang, mungkin ibu dan bapa akan mengucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya.

Akhirnya, yang tinggal hanya aku.

When you were here before,
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You’re so fuckin’ special

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here

I don’t care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I’m not around
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She’s running out again
She’s running out
She run run run run…
run… run…

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special

But I’m a creep,
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doin’ here?
I don’t belong here

I don’t belong here…

a perfect song for this unrequited love of mine.

TUNKU IDA ARLIZA @ DEKDA

We met by chance through the mIRC. It was school holiday of the year 1999. Her nick was uNCoMe| (Yes, I remember! ) and she thought I was a good friend of hers, Shazana Fairuz, whom the nick bandicoot (Not so sure with the spelling) belongs to. I was using Kr4sH_BanDiCooT as my nick and I guess it’s clear how the confusion occurred. We kept in touch though and had been friends since.

The year 2000, I broke up with my ex, Nurzawani Mukhtarah, and she was there for me to listen to my plight and put a smile on my face. From that very moment, despite never knowing how she looks like (she told me she’s ugly!), I fell in love. There’s just something about her that makes me happy. She says the right thing at the right time. Be manja at the right moment and at the right dose (Yes, manja can be annoying sometimes).

We tried to meet up to no avail. I did everything I could. Cut short my school holiday (and had a fight with my parents about it and they left me to settle the matter which includes Q-ing up at the MAS office for 4 hours). Everytime we tried to meet up, something always came up. 2002, sometime in February if I am not mistaken, we finally met. The TKCians were having their batch gathering in KLCC during that time. Of course, as usual, something came up. Despite that, the first meeting was beautiful. She was so cute (What? Ugly?) with her blue-ish appearance. The hat. Mama cakap macam orang Jepun. Those are the words I can recall during our cut short meeting. Hehs! Had a mixed feeling though. Her cuteness is a blow to my confidence. Despite that, something tells me to hold on. We never know right?

By then I know she likes someone from STAR. She talked a lot about him. His chubby cheeks. How he cried at Seremban Parade during Val’s Day as she rejected him. Well, the TKCians kinda have a thing on not having a BF before SPM though I can’t recall what they call it. During one of the holidays, she asked me to spy on him since STARians and STFians (betul ke ejaan ni?) were having their gathering in Sunway Pyramid. Some of my friends asked me to make up stories but I refused as I believe being truthful and honest is the best way to prove my love for her. CHAK! Yes! He was kinda cute. Tall. I could see from afar the girls were trying to get his attention but he was rather cold. From that moment, I knew, he was a better choice than me. Academically. Sports. Everything. I told her about what I saw and I can feel that she was excited and happy though she tried to hide it by the common “EE.. Geramnye. Tipu a.“.

Cut! It was post-SPM. They got together. I was happy for her since she was with a good guy (I thought he was) despite having my heart broken into pieces. Tried to avoid her and after sometime, when I was in Labuan Matriculation College, 17th September 2003, I gave her a call. I was confident I have moved on and as a dear brother of hers, I should wish her Happy Birthday. Oh shit I was wrong. The moment I heard her voice saying “Hello! Sape ni?”, all the feelings I thought had gone, it all came back to me and worse, it felt so much better and stronger than ever. After that call, I went straight to my room and wondered what just happened and never really solved the puzzle.

Things got kinda on and off since then until some time during my 2nd year 1st sem, when I heard she broke up with that guy. I won’t go into the details though but I do pity her and got mad with him. Despite that, being human, I was kinda happy too since she was single. We met up in Shah Alam accompanied by a friend of mine, Noor Azran @ Joeybonk and had pizza. That very time was great. Awesome. No. I don’t think there are any words that can describe it. I kept the Komuter tix I purchased to meet her. I was happy. Smiled a whole lot and due to that, Zain made fun of me and called me a lovesick dog. Haha!

Sometime later, she told me that her class was going to Kuching and needed some recommendations and help, in particular, a place to have BBQ and the food preparation. As always, I gladly did. I went back to Kuching for mid-term break and discussed with my friends and family about it (well, I’ve been away from Kuching since I was 13 so I don’t know much either. ;p). The first plan was to have the BBQ at the beach but the idea was brushed off since it was raining back then. At the end of the day, we decided to have the BBQ at my place. It came with a price though as I have to skip my mid term test and have to go back to Kuching after barely a week in KL since the event took place 2 weeks after our mid-term break. Since I still have my scholarship (Thank you Malaysian taxpayers!), I used it to pay for my tix. Regarding the test, well, I simply ignored it since it was just 10 marks after all. ;p

At the time when the trip was held, Usher & Alicia Keys – My Boo was like the ‘IT’ song. :p She loved it so much that she kept singing it over and over again, and changed the “My Oh, My Oh, My Oh” to my nickname “Ma’oi, Ma’oi, Ma’oi”. How I wish that was true. Me being her boo. Unfortunately, that was just for fun. One very fine afternoon she used my computer and I found out something fishy is going on. It was like she had found someone new. My instinct was right. Few weeks later, I got to know she’s with a guy known as Mayon, a senior of hers in UiTM. I was brokenhearted yet again, but I can only feel happy for her. Her friend, Kak Chik, told me that he was always there for her. They met each other everyday. That’s a huge advantage. Despite being told so, I do believe that even if I can afford to do so, I can never be good enough for her. I gave my all, but sometimes, even that is not enough and of course it shows just how ordinary I am as a person. She once mentioned that I seem to hide who I really am a little too much, or in other words, very reserved. To be honest, I am not. It’s just that my days were, are, will be just the same with nothing to shout about. That’s why I always answer “Nothing much” for a “What’s up?” question.

Since then, I kept looking for someone new, trying my best to move on. I managed to date a few girls. One in particular to a great extend, but nothing seems to work out. The worst thing is that for each failure, my feelings for her become stronger than before with each of them reminding me just how special she is as a person. I know people do wonder why is it I can forget other girls easily but not her.

This is my answer. She is my dream girl. As a PERSON, I see no one as beautiful as her. Judging by her looks, of course she has not the most beautiful face or body. The girls I dated looked so much better. But NONE of them managed to do what she does best, which is, she made everything around me (or even you) seems beautiful. I used to think these are only words, that it’s impossible for any person to feel so. But ever since I met her, I can assure you these words are for real. I don’t know how she does it, but yes, that’s the thing about her that struck me the most. She possessed so much positive vibes that it clears out all negativity around you. And that is what makes her so beautiful in my heart, the most beautiful to be exact. The best thing (or maybe you can also call it the worst) about it is that, this beauty of hers lasts forever. A beautiful face/body will age someday, but not this. Nothing can take this away from her (except Allah SWT of course) and that is why, for all these years, I still love her the most.

*THE END*

Dear Dekda,

I managed to finish this post on your 24^th birthday. Sorry for the delay. Hehe! I hope you won’t feel offended by the gift from me and I hope you like it. In case you wonder why, about 2 days after we met I came upon a video on YouTube, which was a lecture on Islam & the international monetary system and it scares me to death. :p As I care about you, that is the least I can do. Keep in mind I’m not pushing you to wear it. Maybe the most suitable word is I’m just trying to promote it. :p  I am no angel to push you to wear it anyway. As for the colour, I chose black as it can be matched easily if on any day you chose to wear it, and orange as I thought it helps in making you happy. I honestly don’t know what your favourite colour is, but I do remember on the 1^st Aidilfitri after you broke up with Najib, you kept saying you are so wearing an orange kebaya like it’s gonna help you move on or cheer you up. And since it seems like something is bothering you (which I’d love to know what it is if you don’t mind sharing), I thought maybe something orange could help. If I get it wrong, I’m sorry. Lastly, have a blast on your birthday! I hope you like the kek lapis and the gift! =)

Love,

MAO~

WOW! I do wonder why this guy is held under ISA? Some might say his writing has caused a lot of confusion but it was not even close to be a threat to the national security. Ahmad Ismail racist remarks caused a lot more furore among the rakyat than this guy’s writings. The only reason he was not arrested under the ISA basically is because he is an UMNO member, which I do believe will make any man in Malaysia above the law. I would like to suggest one thing to Raja Petra. Bring a Quran and swear in front of the media. It is not that hard to be proven innocent nowadays, especially in my beloved BOLEHLAND~ PEACE!

Hold up
Hold on
Don’t be scared
You’ll never change what’s been and gone

May your smile (may your smile)
Shine on (shine on)
Don’t be scared (don’t be scared)
Your destiny may keep you warm

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You’ll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up (get up)
Come on (come on)
Why’re you scared? (I’m not scared)
You’ll never change
What’s been and gone

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You’ll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Cos all of the stars
Are fading away
Just try not to worry
You’ll see them some day
Take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Were all of us stars
Were fading away
Just try not to worry
You’ll see us some day
Just take what you need
And be on your way
And stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out
Stop crying your heart out

I love this song! Thanks to Made of Honor, I managed to recall this song. The last time I listened to this was back in primary school. Huhu! To be honest, this song did help me went through turbulent times I had with someone I hold dear. Hopefully it works on those going through a hard time. ENJOY~

**** Ditch Man City mate! Ahah!